problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
