Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
