i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
