We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
