Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
