as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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