Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm at about main and main street
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
