we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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