pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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