If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Found your dick twin last night
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.