i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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