I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho