I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
