Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
