I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Every concussion has its silver lining
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
