I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
