does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
