you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Acid is not a monday night drug
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
