Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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