I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
