He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
