Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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