you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
