Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
