i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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