do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize