I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
she woke up with a sticky ear
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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