i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
