Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
are you so shy because you have an std?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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