i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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