one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize