you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
