I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Someone signed my nipple.
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