Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize