I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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