The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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