And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
