My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
