The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
