I hate your face
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
