Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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