i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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