Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize