No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize