he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
