Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
