it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize