I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
