i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
