That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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