In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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