Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
