There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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