Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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