i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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