It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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