i'm signing you up for texting rehab
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
