you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
