thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
