4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Watching her eat just hurts me
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
