i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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