he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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