You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
