I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
