Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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