first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
