who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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