Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
